Changing Diapers
Last night I volunteered to babysit my sister's kids while she was in class and her husband was at work. Normally, I have the help of my wife which makes watching the 3 munchkins pretty easy. This time though, my wife was in Monterey visiting her parents. I come straight over to their house after work. I'm amazed to see that the 6 year old and the 4 year old are in the middle of their afternoon nap. All I have is the 2 year old to deal with. Piece of cake, right?... Wrong.
Things start off pretty easy. My sister directs me to the food that she already prepared for them and I plop the 2 year old in front of the TV with her milk to watch Dora the Explorer on a DVD and all is well. That is until my 4 year old nephew wakes up. For some odd reason, he really likes me. He runs over to me and gives me a hug. The problem is that his head smashes into my gentleman's area and pain then insues. He hasn't eaten all day so I know he's hungry. I ask him what he wants to eat and he replies "hot dogs". I tell him we don't have any hot dogs. We have macaroni with meatballs or I can make him a sandwich. He wants pizza. I tell him again the choices are macaroni or a sandwich. He wants ice cream. I show him the macaroni and he approves. I make him help me get a bowl and his kids fork so that he learns to do things for himself. I heat up the food and sit him down to eat and we're all watching Dora together.
After about 10 minutes, there is an awful smell. It turns out the my youngest neice has taken the liberty of using her diaper for its intended purpose. She is still learning to use the bathroom. I think to myself, her father should be her in a little while. Maybe I can have her wait it out until he gets home and he can clean her up. The smell was so nasty, my nephew was holding his nose and crying. He couldn't stand the smell and frankly, neither could I.
I take her to the bathroom and I ask my nephew to go and find me a new pull up diaper for her. He finds one and throws it at me while laughing. Great. Thanks for all the help. I figured it should be pretty easy to take care off. Just get the diaper off, clean her up with some baby wipes and get her dressed again. I start to get her to take off her clothes only to find that her shirt was tucked into her diaper and her poop is green and wet. It was as if you combined boogers and pooped together and mixed them in a blender. She pulls up her shirt and it smears toxic poop up her back and into her hair. It takes everything that I can do to keep from vommitting. Just by thinking about it at this moment, I can smell it again. My nephew keeps coming over to check things out and I warn him to stay far away because the smell was so bad. I tell her to go and find her some clean underwear and he finds one and throws it at me again. Funny boy.
I get all her clothes off and all that is left is the diaper. I have her standing over the sink in preparation of what is to come. Down comes the diaper and my nightmare begins. The green poop is accumulated between her legs instead of on the diaper. A large chunk is hanging and about to fall. Fortunately, I get my hand out of the way so it doesn't get on me. Unfortunately, it drips down her leg and misses the diaper. It's clear to me that no baby wipe is going to handle this so I turn on the water in the sink and have her sit down so I can clean her up. The first go around gets most of the poop as the water turns green like an aquarium that hasn't been cleaned in months. I have her stand up and drain the water. Then I fill it back up with clean water again and a ton of soap. Again the water gets pretty nasty but not nearly as bad as the last time. We do it one more time. This time the water seems to be poop free. I give her a good bath and get her all fresh and clean. As I was cleaning her I was jokingly telling her how nasty it was and that she should never do that again. She agreed by mimicing me and saying, "That's gross!" and "That's nasty!" while laughing.
After I got her cleaned up and got her diaper and underwear on, it was time to find her some clean clothes. Luckily there were some baskets of clean clothes upstairs. She picked out what she wanted to wear and I got her dressed and she went back to watching Dora. Now I had to clean up the mess that was left over. I found 2 plastic bags. I put her dirty clothes in one and placed them next to the washing machine. I took the dirty diaper and the poop and put it in the other plastic bag and took it directly to the garbage can outside. I came back to the sink, scrubbed it down as best as I could and cleaned myself up. I washed both my arms up to my shoulders and my face. I must have used half the pump bottle of soap cleaning her and myself.
Finally, the whole process was completed. Luck for me (and for her), my oldest niece slept through the whole thing. She woke up almost immediately after I finished cleaning up. The rest of the evening was uneventful in comparison. I did learn that if you turn down the TV, the kids get much quieter. They have to keep quiet if they want to hear the TV. So there is a tip for any of you parents out there. I just hope that I never have to do something like again. Chances are pretty good that I will have to do though.
Things start off pretty easy. My sister directs me to the food that she already prepared for them and I plop the 2 year old in front of the TV with her milk to watch Dora the Explorer on a DVD and all is well. That is until my 4 year old nephew wakes up. For some odd reason, he really likes me. He runs over to me and gives me a hug. The problem is that his head smashes into my gentleman's area and pain then insues. He hasn't eaten all day so I know he's hungry. I ask him what he wants to eat and he replies "hot dogs". I tell him we don't have any hot dogs. We have macaroni with meatballs or I can make him a sandwich. He wants pizza. I tell him again the choices are macaroni or a sandwich. He wants ice cream. I show him the macaroni and he approves. I make him help me get a bowl and his kids fork so that he learns to do things for himself. I heat up the food and sit him down to eat and we're all watching Dora together.
After about 10 minutes, there is an awful smell. It turns out the my youngest neice has taken the liberty of using her diaper for its intended purpose. She is still learning to use the bathroom. I think to myself, her father should be her in a little while. Maybe I can have her wait it out until he gets home and he can clean her up. The smell was so nasty, my nephew was holding his nose and crying. He couldn't stand the smell and frankly, neither could I.
I take her to the bathroom and I ask my nephew to go and find me a new pull up diaper for her. He finds one and throws it at me while laughing. Great. Thanks for all the help. I figured it should be pretty easy to take care off. Just get the diaper off, clean her up with some baby wipes and get her dressed again. I start to get her to take off her clothes only to find that her shirt was tucked into her diaper and her poop is green and wet. It was as if you combined boogers and pooped together and mixed them in a blender. She pulls up her shirt and it smears toxic poop up her back and into her hair. It takes everything that I can do to keep from vommitting. Just by thinking about it at this moment, I can smell it again. My nephew keeps coming over to check things out and I warn him to stay far away because the smell was so bad. I tell her to go and find her some clean underwear and he finds one and throws it at me again. Funny boy.
I get all her clothes off and all that is left is the diaper. I have her standing over the sink in preparation of what is to come. Down comes the diaper and my nightmare begins. The green poop is accumulated between her legs instead of on the diaper. A large chunk is hanging and about to fall. Fortunately, I get my hand out of the way so it doesn't get on me. Unfortunately, it drips down her leg and misses the diaper. It's clear to me that no baby wipe is going to handle this so I turn on the water in the sink and have her sit down so I can clean her up. The first go around gets most of the poop as the water turns green like an aquarium that hasn't been cleaned in months. I have her stand up and drain the water. Then I fill it back up with clean water again and a ton of soap. Again the water gets pretty nasty but not nearly as bad as the last time. We do it one more time. This time the water seems to be poop free. I give her a good bath and get her all fresh and clean. As I was cleaning her I was jokingly telling her how nasty it was and that she should never do that again. She agreed by mimicing me and saying, "That's gross!" and "That's nasty!" while laughing.
After I got her cleaned up and got her diaper and underwear on, it was time to find her some clean clothes. Luckily there were some baskets of clean clothes upstairs. She picked out what she wanted to wear and I got her dressed and she went back to watching Dora. Now I had to clean up the mess that was left over. I found 2 plastic bags. I put her dirty clothes in one and placed them next to the washing machine. I took the dirty diaper and the poop and put it in the other plastic bag and took it directly to the garbage can outside. I came back to the sink, scrubbed it down as best as I could and cleaned myself up. I washed both my arms up to my shoulders and my face. I must have used half the pump bottle of soap cleaning her and myself.
Finally, the whole process was completed. Luck for me (and for her), my oldest niece slept through the whole thing. She woke up almost immediately after I finished cleaning up. The rest of the evening was uneventful in comparison. I did learn that if you turn down the TV, the kids get much quieter. They have to keep quiet if they want to hear the TV. So there is a tip for any of you parents out there. I just hope that I never have to do something like again. Chances are pretty good that I will have to do though.
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